Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Randomize
