Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Randomize
