I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Drunk is not a location!
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Randomize
