I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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