Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
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