Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
Randomize
