Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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