her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
We named our party play list daddy issues
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
