so that wasnt chicken after all
The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Randomize
