I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
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