walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
Randomize
