isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
either way he was missing a nipple.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
Randomize
