Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
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