If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
My breasts were aching with rage.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
Randomize
