im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Randomize
