They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
Randomize
