That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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