Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Randomize
