brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Randomize
