it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
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