So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
