are you still at the devil's house?
Non-Jews are for practice
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
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