I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
Randomize
