In the future we'll all be gay
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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