How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
ttyl tear gas
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Randomize