I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
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