I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
