Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
Randomize
