nut hugger
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
Randomize
