He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
