I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
