i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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