drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
