I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
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