So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
i think i have herpe
just one?
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
