I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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