There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Randomize
