YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
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