You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Randomize
