Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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