Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
Let's get the cat blown out
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
