Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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