I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
wow bdsm is so cute
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