He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Randomize
