ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Randomize
