i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
No subtext here. People are naked.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
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