I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize
