i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
Randomize
