On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
