Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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